Alcohol Is Haunting Me
Even though I got rid of alcohol 8 months ago, it still finds a way in my thoughts. That is not enough, it also pops up in my dreams.
In one of those dreams, I was at a festival. Although I wasn’t sure if I should drink or not, I was convinced by my old behavior to drink. I did give in and it felt really powerless.
In another of these dreams, I told everybody I would drive the car because I am sober. Secretly I drank 3 beers, but I had to keep this a secret all the ride. I was so ashamed that I did not take my responsibility seriously. When we made a break at a gas station, I started to debate in my head whether I should drink the fourth beer. The debate that took part in the dream in my head went back and forth. I remember the feelings and thoughts of this dream realistically. It was exhausting, but at the end I said no to that fourth beer. I don’t need VR-glasses, these dreams are enough of altered reality for me.
After waking up, I always needed ten minutes to realize it was all just a dream. It was such a relief to know I didn’t drink, I was sober and safe.
According to this article: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/02/190212190849.htm
These dreams should lessen with recovery time. I am eight month sober and my brain is still in recovery even though I wasn’t a daily drinker. How sick is that?
I thought recovery would go a lot smoother. In my imagination I had to stay sober for some weeks, and I am over it.
But this is far away from reality. Alcohol is not a harmless fun drink. Alcohol is a hard drug that can change the wiring of your brain for a very long time.
I will take it like it is and put some trust in the passing time and the process. The dreams and cravings are very rare, and the discomfort is worth it. When You are in recovery, I wish you a lot of strength and power of endurance.
More of my stories:
- How I Quit Alcohol / The Point I Decided To Quit (My first story)
- 6 Month Of Sobriety
- Beer Got Me Again
- I Will Never Drink Again
- Replacing Alcohol
