Camping Time, I Did Drink.
As you may know, I had some problems with drinking for a long period of my life. I was a weekend binge drinker and could get out of control from time to time. Affecting my health, my career and my well being.
After an incident on my birthday, I decided to get sober as long as possible. I did three months, which was the longest period in a very long time for me.
This week I could not stand it and I drank again. Here is how it happened. We were on our ride to a camping place, my girlfriend started to drink in the car and got really talkative. I could not return the ease, I was stressing out a bit finding the way and driving the car.
Then it hit me. “You know what, I am drinking a bit today, this is the perfect spot and perfect place to let loose. In my brain there was immediately a sense of sensation fueled by pleasant anticipation. It was as if firefighters were trying to extinguish a blaze in my head. But they weren’t working with water, they used beer.
We got in a queue just before the registration to the camping place. The beer was still cold, and I decided to get my first one right there on the spot. My first beer after 3 months of teetotalism. It didn’t taste disgusting like I would expect, in fact it tasted better than all the sugary soft-drinks.
I got my first beer and then the second. Things were getting funnier, for sure I talked a bunch of random shit and was laughing stupidly. We had a really open and interesting chat with my girlfriend. It was like we were opening up after some booze. After my 3rd beer, I wasn’t able nor was I willing to read sth. It felt like you get exponentially dumber with every glass of alcohol.
Instead of reading and relaxing, all I wanted to do was to walk around the place looking for the next beer. After some while, we were at the beach watching the youth playing beachball and enjoying the time. Everything looked so nice and relaxed. I even smoked 2 cigarettes even thought I hate tobacco. This also tells me my willingness to consume is growing with the intake of alcohol. But that is no big news to me.
After 4–5 beers I was getting really dizzy, we continued to walk around the place and stranded at an outdoor bar with a really huge screen. I didnt really like it, so we continued the walk to our camp. Arriving there, we opened our last bottles of beer and continued talking. My girlfriend handed me her last beer, but I had enough, and I tipped it away. Something I almost never did in the past, I would rather drink all of it and vomit.
Feeling ok is not enough for me anymore. Having an ok job, neither. I want to feel great, I want to have great freedom, great relationships and a great job.
We were ready with our drinks, and it was sleeping time. My sleep was definitely messed up. I woke up 2 times in the night for drinking or going to the toilet. The sleep was really horrible if you compare it to the beautiful sober sleep.
The next day I was feeling ok, but I wanted to have some fast food to cure the light hangover. Even though I felt ok, I had an idea. Feeling ok is not enough for me anymore. Having an ok job, neither. I want to feel great, I want to have great freedom, great relationships and a great job.
This is exponentially easier when I stay sober. I am always able to drive the car, think clearly and regenerate fast. This is a big present and advantage in life.
My conclusion is: It was fun to have some drinks again, but it is not worth it for me anymore because 1–2 drinks are not enough. Everything above hinders my freedom and my new standard for life.
Today I have a big test ahead of me. I was talking with a friend whom I haven’t seen in a long time. I am going to visit him today and probably stay for one night. Usually we both were consuming big time when we met. He doesn’t know at all about my sober ways. This is going to be somewhat of a trigger for me. After the camping adventure, I don’t feel like drinking at all. Let’s see if I can live up to my new standards and walk the talk.
Wishing you all a great, sunny time. Enjoy life !!
More of my stories:
- How I Quit Alcohol / The Point I Decided To Quit (My first story)
- 6 Month Of Sobriety
- Beer Got Me Again
- I Will Never Drink Again
- Replacing Alcohol
