Almost 3 month into sobriety, some situations occured that almost made me drink.
I dont think that, I will go on a binge immediately after having one , but there is a huge risk of slowly developing this unhealthy habbit again. Day after day, week after week. There are some strong triggers coming up from time to time, I try to identify them and change them around. I feel like with every strong trigger, or temptation that I am able to handle, I get stronger and more self-confident to stay sober.
I am watching myself and my desires very carefully. Let me tell you about some settings that almost made me grab a drink.
Sitting at home working on my computer, the task I am working on is really annoying, my brain doesnt cooperate on this task anymore. All of a sudden I have a great solution.
” Just pure some wine or beer down your throat and everything will get more relaxed.”
I throw back my head and close my eyes. Pictures of wine are coming into my mind. For several seconds I get the feeling like I am already drinking ?? There is some spooky stuff going on in my brain. Luckily I dont have anything in my refrigerator.
The next spot occurs at the place where I do some crafting. Normally I was drinking while doing some handcraft. Sometimes I would just drink without actually doing something productive at this place. My trigger for having a beer over there, is pretty huge.
I enter the place, completely sober, feeling like the boss of sobriety. A small project needs to be done. I am looking forward to it, this should be a fast one without alcohol.
But exact the opposite happens. Nothing goes my way, I miscut my material several times, dont find my tools and my work is pretty disorganized. Eventhough I am putting some serious physical energy into it. I get a bit frustrated. Unfortunately there is still beer at this place. A beautiful green glas bottle in a plastic case is waiting for me. All the exertion and unease could be relieved.
My stomach metamorphoses into a heart and into a brain, this new organ only remembers the lovely feelings, associated with enjoying a beer.
Finally I returned to my senses. I took some deep breath, thought a bit rational about it and left the place. This was my closest situation for having a beer.
I even get some light cravings thinking about it. There is really some odd stuff going on in the brain and body. If you pay attention to it, addictions and learned behaviours are very mighty.
So far so good. Lets get back to positivity. I accomplished my longest streak for now and I am very proud.
What are your biggest triggers for drinking ? Which feelings or situations are making you grab a drink ?
More of my stories:
- How I Quit Alcohol / The Point I Decided To Quit (My first story)
- 6 Month Of Sobriety
- Beer Got Me Again
- I Will Never Drink Again
- Replacing Alcohol
