Do you loose your fun gene sober?
Hello friends, this is my second summer sober. The first one was very unaccustomed to what I was used to. Since I linked every activity with beer and wine, I had to relearn how to have fun and relax. Some days were very long, and it felt like I was watching the clock hands ticking minute by minute.
It was a huge difference in my reality, experiencing every day of the weekend from 9a.m to 1a.m. Every moment of it, every thought of it and every feeling of it. It could get very overwhelming and boring from time to time.
I had to choose my activities and people carefully at that time. It was a lot of change at once.
This summer, my second one sober, it got a lot easier to handle everything. I just stay true to myself. When I don’t want to go somewhere, I just don’t go. There is not much rumination or planning needed for that decision.
Still, sometimes I feel bored out and some romantic feelings about the good old times are coming back. Like it happened in Vienna recently.
I was staying there for a visit, and because my apartment was 15 minutes away from the flat of my parents. I was walking around there a lot.
The summer was shining with all the power, and it felt like everybody was having fun and the time of their lives. People were sitting in outdoor bars sipping on their beer and wine glasses. I felt like I was just the spectator of all that fun and not the participator.
That’s where some dangerous thoughts came in my mind:
- “What am I doing?”
- “ I miss out on all that fun.”
- “All that happy people seemingly have figured out how to live and enjoy it with some drinks, and I am just passing by with a worry line between my eyebrows.”
Reflecting on it now, I think it was just a wired brain trick to make me get a drink. Also, in other moments I was the one sitting in the outdoor bar laughing loud and enjoying myself. I guess I have it all figured out.
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